I have too many children to have a delicate constitution. Between my five kids, we've been through 11 surgeries and that number jumps substantially if you add in the moms. I have changed dressings, dealt with the packing and cleaning of wounds, inserted feeding tubes, used electric powered suction machines on tiny babies and held …
Ooooooooklahoma!
When I was a teenager, my parents helped run an NA group as well as hosted a youth group in our home. Our circle was fairly wide back in the day and, often, my parents would encounter people in tough situations who needed a place to stay. We had an extra room, so throughout those …
Silver Linings
I am a big believer in silver linings. Life is all about perspective on things, really. The water heater in our hotel room either went out or doesn’t function before 5am - either way this is fine because if there was ever a day where I needed a cold shower to wake up, it’d be …
Hotel Room Confessional
Consider yourself warned: this is probably not going to be either very funny or very positive. I initially wrote this with a plan to keep it to myself, but I guess part of this process involves taking everyone along on this journey. And real life isn't always funny or positive. Sometimes we're messy and sad …
I Hate Summer
There's really no other way to put it: I legit may die before Labor Day. Summer break is straight-up trying to kill me. All day, every day with five average kids is tough. All day, every day is with four average kids plus Pook is downright lethal. It's gonna be either my brain (lack of …
Puke & Rally
Back in my early 20's, I spent a couple of years spreading my wings and exploring the world around me. I was single, I was newly thin and I had the alcohol tolerance of a baby giraffe. My soldier brother was preparing for a deployment to Iraq, so he and I spent a good month …
The More You Know
Back in the day, there were these little blips on Friday night TV after the good shows called The More You Know. There would be someone famous giving a public service announcement, just for the purpose of educating the masses. Most of them were obvious: don't do drugs, get help if you're struggling with addiction, …
You’re Invited To a Funeral
On behalf of me, thank you for joining us to pay our respects to the dearly departed: my cool. My cool did not have a long life. She wasn't discovered until roughly my mid 20's. She most definitely did NOT exist in high school, when I was a full 6 inches taller than anyone else …
I’ve Made a Terrible Decision
Ok. Let me just start this by saying one thing: I MADE A BAD CHOICE. In my infinite shortsightedness, I booked a well-child checkup for Pook & Boogie at 9am during summer break. I swear, I'm not new at this. I just act like it, apparently. So this is how today starts. Mama showers at …
Poo. Always Poo.
I feel like someone should have warned me that this job was completely centered around bodily fluids. At least 50% of my day is doing chores, with another 40% dedicated to poo. (And yes, I'm aware that adds up to 90, not 100. That last ten percent is reserved for hiding in the bathroom and …
My Five Ring Circus 