I’ve decided to rename my inner monologue to “The Narrator”. I’m tired of my brain choosing Eeyore as a role model, so I think it’s time we rebrand ourselves. Laughter is my true and true remedy to stress and anxiety, but Eeyore is not known for his sunny disposition. I’m vacillating between various celebrity editions …
The Ballad of Roo Pooper
Come and listen to a story ‘bout a boy named RooHe was six years old but did not know how to pooOne day he felt a little something in his pantsIt fell to the floor when he did a little dance(Poop, that is, an actual turd) Well, Roo didn’t wanna touch that mess with his …
Christmas & BBQ Chips
Noodle brought his Thanksgiving art project home from school today. Every student in his class made one by coloring a picture of a turkey, adding construction paper feathers and writing things for which they are thankful on the feathers. He’s pretty proud of it. I guess I should be grateful that I made the cut …
Shelter Me
At least 80% of my inner monologue these days is me telling myself that things will get easier after something else happens. Example: the Christmas Pageant is one week from today and after that, things will calm down. I’ve just got to gets through the next two rehearsals and stage setup and we’re golden. I …
Crisis Management
When I was 15, just a few months before the state of Idaho made an incredibly poor decision by granting me a driver’s license, I was home alone with my younger brother while our mom was at work. He was in his room working one mad scientist project or another and I was upstairs. All …
Pop, I Made A Bad Choice
Allow me to be the very first to congratulate you on your successful day yesterday. No matter how bad you *think* yesterday may have been, I’m here to tell you that your day was spectacular, because you did not end up bare-assed in the middle of a craft store with two squalling children. Nope. That …
Morning Has Broken
I’m sitting on the couch, daydreaming about my days with Melissa pre-kids. Close your eyes and imagine with me. Sleep til whenever. Drink coffee (or Dr Pepper in Melissa’s case) in pajamas and discuss possible plans for the day. Eventually shower, head to brunch. Maybe see a movie. Do a little sightseeing. Cook dinner together, …
Dealbreakers
It’s been a hot minute since I’ve had the ability to sit down and write. In fact, the only reason I am able to right now is because I’m currently locked in my bedroom with a snuggly blanket and my phone. It’s been a hard day, y’all. My littles haven’t slept and my bigs haven’t …
Whistle While You Work
There are certain things about parenting that are simultaneously adorable and crazy-making. Like this morning, when Noodle would only speak to me by whistling and spent five minutes teaching me the correct way of whistling “yes”. Apparently there is no way to whistle no, because “yes is much more gooder”. Hilarious, but problematic at times, …
Beans For Ooma
So... I have this thing. It sounds like hyperbole, but it's actually legit. I cannot do anything even halfway - I'm an all-or-nothing kinda girl. This is evidenced in my life on a variety of fronts. I mean, hello.... who has not just one but TWO sets of twins? This capacity is something we've talked …
My Five Ring Circus 