Blue Monday

Welcome to Monday! It’s the day where Mama tries to pretend like we have a summer routine while everyone else lays in a lump on the couch and grumbles. Today’s episode is titled: Why Are Your Boogers Blue?

I managed to sneak in a shower before Melissa started work, so she was downstairs wrangling the cobras while I attempted to salvage the wreckage that is my hair after four months without a cut. I finished up and headed downstairs (because I mean, really, it is what it is at this point) and find my elder sons on tablets, Boogie running laps on the kitchen/living room loop and Pook eating Lucky Charms on the couch. I offer to make breakfast (eggs? waffles? toast?) and am met with an unenthusiastic MEH all around. I present to you a typical Bradshay 7am.

My kitchen talents not currently needed, I grab my phone and have a seat. It’s pretty chill for once, which should have sent my spidey senses a-tingle, but I was scrolling Facebook and serving as a human jungle gym for Boogie, so I was distracted. Then I hear the sound of Lucky Charms spilling out of the bowl. Melissa gets up to pick them up, at which point we discover that Pook has spent the last quiet five minutes silently shoving marshmallows up her nose.

If you’ve never had to hogtie a flailing two year old in order to extract freeze-dried shamrock marshmallows from their nostrils, let me be the first to tell you that it takes two grown adults and a pair of tweezers. Tears will be shed. Your child will probably also be crying. And FYI, your child will also be a fountain of blue snot for the next hour or so.

The capstone of the entire situation came when we finished pulling marshmallows out of Pook’s nose. I was finally able to scoop her up and comfort her while Melissa turned to clean everything up, only to discover the reclaimed nosemallows were gone.

Boogie, never one to turn down a snack, had eaten them.