“Mama? Mama. Mama. Mama, I had a dream that you and Addie changed teef.” were the words spoken approximately 6 millimeters from my cornea at exactly 4:09am. I’ve been up most of the night courtesy of my infusion steroids but had finally fallen asleep around 2am. I was sleeping, but I’m wide awake now, haunted by visions of Pook with her giant tongue and a full set of adult teeth. Holy hellfire, son.
Noodle climbed into my bed and promptly fell back asleep. I was lying there trying to convince myself to do the same when I hear Boogie down the hall calling to his sister to wake up. It starts out sweetly with a, “Sissy?” in a reasonably quiet voice. But she’s not responding because, hello, she’s asleep, so his volume quickly increases until Boogie is literally pterodactyl-shrieking “SISSY!!!!” every two seconds. Unsurprisingly, his sister wakes. I can’t see her, but I can hear her response of, “No!” quite clearly from my room. Now they’re shouting back and forth (SISSY! NOOOOO!) and the pterodactyl total rises to two.
It’s now 4:42 and by some miracle the boys haven’t been awoken by the shrieking circle in the room next door, nor has Melissa. Bean can sleep through an F5 tornado, so no help there. I sigh, slide out from underneath a snoring Noodle and close the door on my way out. This is some bullcrap, man. Serious bullcrap.
Melissa has to go to the actual office today so I need to remember how to run this circus alone today after four months of tag-team parenting. Good thing I got some extra energy juice at the doctor yesterday because I’m pretty sure lion tamers need more than two hours of sleep. I’m also pretty sure they get a whip. Note to self: research reasonably priced whips on Amazon during naptime today.
Time to brew a pot of coffee and feed the pterodactyl crew. Thankfully, Pook’s teeth are still Pook-sized. One less thing to worry about.
My Five Ring Circus 