Sanity Check

It’s 6:30am and I’m already done with today, which began two hours ago in our house. Pook has been sick for three days and woke up screaming bloody murder shortly after 4am. I went in to get her and found Boogie had, at some point in the night, vomited in his bed slept in it. Melissa picked him up and he immediately morphed into a toddler-sized vomit cannon. Noodle and Roo both woke up with hacking coughs and the voices of sixty-year chainsmokers. Bean didn’t wake up until 6, but she’s got a migraine and has also spent the morning vomiting.

Calgon, take me away. Anybody, take me away. There is not enough caffeine in the world to make this day run smoothly. These are the days I wish Starbucks had a delivery option.

The boys have a field trip today to see a play and are both crying and begging to go to school. They’ve been looking forward to this for two months, so I am still on the fence. We’ll see what a hot shower and some cough syrup does. We also have a home visit scheduled today with WIC, but at this point I’m pretty sure we are the epicenter for some upcoming pandemic and I should reschedule. Drape the whole house in plastic and caution tape. We are Ground Zero. In 28 days, we’re all gonna turn into zombies and eat the neighborhood.

Ok, so I mixed up my horror movie references because I don’t actually watch anything scary. But at least I won’t have to grocery shop anymore if the kids zombify, right? Just think about how much time I’ll save from not cooking or doing dishes. I see this as a possible win here, people. There’s potential.

Happy Thursday! I’ll be spending the day Lysol wiping the entire house, medicating the tiny humans and frantically attempting to maintain sanity. I’m gonna have some quality bonding time with our Nose Frida and Pook’s IV pole, and boy if you’d told me ten years ago that I could say that with a straight face, I’d have called you a liar.

Also: Nose Frida. Oh my word, gag. She’s the grossest lady you ever met, I promise. And if you’ve not met her, just trust me and don’t Google. The things we do for our kids are unbelievable.